Yesterday, I went to the beach with Kayla. It was only for a couple hours and no one else wanted to come, but it was really nice. She actually talked to me for awhile. We had had legit conversations. During one of our conversations, about me going away, she let it slip that she was going to miss me and that I'm her best friend. She's my best friend too. We've been through so much together that it's no surprise that we're always going to be close.
It's sad that we wont be together, but I think that we both need to find out who we are without each other. I've always had her so it's natural that I've become attached to her. I just feel like we're a little too close now. I don't know who I am without her, and I don't like that kind of dependency on someone.
I'm glad that she's opening up to me more. This should be a time to spend with friends and family. I spend most of my time with Kayla because no one else really wants to talk to me. The only way that a conversation, let alone actually doing something, will happen is if I initiate it. I have to start the conversation or ask what people want to do. I want to hang out with everyone, but they don't seem to want to hang out with me.
I hope that the people I'm going to be friends with at UMPI aren't like this. It would be nice to feel like people actually want to talk to me. I don't think that my so called friends are going to miss me while I'm gone. At least I'll come home to my best friend for the holidays. I'm glad that I wasn't an only child. Just saying.
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