More than just another day

I woke up at the crack of dawn (seven) this morning to get ready to go to camp for the day. I showered and made breakfast, blueberry pancakes.

I met Jordan at Irving in town and followed her to her camp. It was a cute little yellow building eight on the water. Mostly the four of us girls (Jordan, Brittany, Kayla, and me) sat around the fire sharing gossip. My life seems like a soap opera, so I shared everything that's happened this past week.

I caught someone in a lie but I guess I won't say who directly. I was planning on going to the beach yesterday like we've been planning but everyone seemed to have plans, boyfriends and family. I went to see Magic Mike XXL instead. I'm so glad that I did because it was amazing! The final seen was orgasmic! Channing moving like that, whoo, I wish he was mine. :D

Anyways, that lie. One of the people said that she was couldn't go because family was coming over and their mother wanted them home. Well today, they said that they had spent day and night with her boyfriend. I wanted to say, "you were with him? I thought you had to be with your family yesterday," but I didn't touch the subject t. I'm leaving next month and there's no reason to make even more people angry with me.

I don't know what it is but these past couple days have been hard. It could be the heat or all the stress and anxiety or anuthing else. I've been having trouble breathing sporadically during the day. When this happens, my heart starts to pound so hard that I can't stand up or move in general. It takes a few minutes to get under control and then I'm dizzy and feel am so close to falling with every step. My knees keep giving out and I fall into doorways. I think that it's my emotions finally catching up with me. I've been so busy lately that I don't relax much anymore and I haven't really coped with anything that has happened, is happening, or will happen.

I feel a little awkward trying to talk to any of my friends about it because they barely listen to me anyways but they think I'm a  hypochondriac. My parents are too busy preparing for the social worker that's coming tomorrow. They would also just say that it's in my head or something.

I think that for now all I should do is try to relax and deal with everything that's going on. If it gets worse I'll say something. Just saying.