Comfort

I don't even know how to start. I guess I'll start with a flashback.

It was years ago, five or six years I think, when it really began. I was in middle school, sixth grade to with seventh I believe, when small objects started to go missing. It started with Theresa's zoon, some music player, and escalated far too quickly. IPods, money, and anything around the house. After a while, the verdict was that I was taking it all. I'm not sure what I was doing with it, but I was at fault.

My motive was said to be to make things like they were back in Lagrange. I didn't admit to it because I was innocent, but for years I was the enemy. All trust had been lost. No one trusted me and I didn't trust anyone. Even my sisters began to suspect me. I thought that they would at least have my back.I was alone in the world. After years of false accusations, everyone realized that I was framed. Someone else had done it all so they could pawn objects for their drug money.

After rehab and too many chances, he came back into my life: into my home. It's been seven months and all has seemed to be going well. We are civil to one another, but I will never forgive him for what he did. He damaged me more than I already was.

I went to the beach today with Kayla and Brittany, super fun, and was on my way to McDonald's for some dinner. That's when it was realized. $220 was stolen from my wallet, approximately the same amount from Kayla's. I don't just jump to conclusions usually, but he is the only likely suspect. The car doors are locked at all times except when I'm home. It went missing sometime between Thursday night and today. Who's had access and motive? The heroin addict. He randomly came into some money. Guilty? I know yes. How can he just steal like that? We're supposed to be family! Legally he's my brother and he can do all that to me! I wish I could understand.

I know that I have trust issues and have trouble letting people in, but that's because things like this always happen to me! It's when I get comfortable with everything that something happens to ruin it all again. Life was good. I had money, I have the opportunity to hang out with my friends anytime, I have a car, I'm healthy, and I graduated from high school. I'm going to college. I come from a crappy childhood and have made a success of myself. Why wouldn't I be comfortable? It's when I let my guard down. That's why I have the attitude and don't trust people. I don't want to get too close because things have a tendency to be ripped away from me.

One day I hope that I can be comfortable and not feel the need to worry all the time about things like this happening to me. Maybe when he's gone, hopefully tomorrow, I can begin my journey to succeed that goal. Just saying.