Its been a long couple of day. If I'm being honest, its been a long 18 years that I might never recover from. I'm not going to tell the story because its not my place to share, but I'm going to express how I feel.
Yesterday, I saw an eight year old that reminded me of my eight year old self. I was sitting on the couch and I saw her, she was scared and nothing will ever be the same again.
I lost my mother when I was eight, maybe right before I turned eight, and I can't help but remember what that felt like when I saw this little girl. Neither of our mothers died, but they were both neglecting parents. To not be able to be with your mom when you need her most is one of the worst feelings a child can feel. I'm on the verge of tears thinking about this. I wish that there was something I could do to make her feel better, or make me feel better, but I don't think that there is. Life is hard. Just saying.
Oh, yes, this is sad. I can see that you were having a sad time of it. It is THE WORST thing on the planet to see a child who needs the love of a parent and absolutely know they have never really gotten it. This is the hardest part of being human: to see misery and feel helpless. You know what the best part is: to see suffering and help. You'll figure it out Sam.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think anyone would actually read this. I've been thinking about it all day and I'm just not sure how I can help or what I can do.
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